“You never really leave a place or person you love, part of them you take with you, leaving a part of yourself behind.” (Author unknown)
As we prepare to leave Tucson for now, in my head I start to walk through the recent familiar ritual of leaving. When we preparing to “move”, I think and feel a lot.
About 7-10 days before we leave, I start taking a closer look at what food we buy, making sure to use what’s in the freezer so we have enough space in our coolers to transport it.
Saying good-bye to people starts early. When we left Rochester, it started in November for a late December departure. Here in Tucson, I have already said goodbye to the people at the food bank, some who I only worked together with for a couple weeks, but with whom a connection was made. We talked about life in Tucson as well as shows worth watching on Netflix and Amazon, books and of course, our children. We say goodbye to acquaintances, friends of friends, and eventually any friends who live here. In some cases, there are even goodbyes to our AirB&B hosts, who became a little part of our life.
I start hoping that the next place we stay will be nicer or as nice and go back to the AirB&B or VRBO booking for the next place to check out the amenities. It is hard to remember which place has what; a washer and dryer, dishwasher, patio, etc.
Because we are not really tourists, but looking for a new home, we do not spend every days seeing the sites. But at the same time, I want to see and do everything and realize at the end of our stay that there is no way to do this. So I get a little regretful and a little blue, while anticipating the new adventure. It is like leaving Rochester except on a much smaller scale. Mostly the sadness is about lost possibilities.
I also start planning for what to do in the next place. I reflect on whether this is someplace we are really considering, or just passing through for fun. I check out what grocery stores there are, whether I can get my gas at Costco, and whether we can get our snacks at Trader Joe’s. I review “must-see” sites, look for bike trails, yoga studios, and if we are serious about the possibility of living there, look for community events, activities and institutions, and sometimes at real estate.
I want our last day to happen before it is scheduled. I feel like I am done, kind of edgy and impatient. This is me wanting to avoid the regret and sadness. Of course, there is no excitement in a new place without first leaving where we are now.
At the same time, I do not want to pack until the last minute. For those of you who know my planning side, this must come as a surprise. But we don’t need to decide what to take. We take everything we are traveling with, and it is mostly organized so we know where to pack everything. I don’t want to live from suitcases and bins. When we left Redding for Tucson, it took us 1 ½ hours to pack, do dishes and take out garbage, so it doesn’t take long.
And then, somehow at the end, missing friends, family and the familiar gets a little overwhelming. We face not knowing anyone again, and in the anticipation of that absence, I get pushed back to recent losses. We have to start over. We will lack the social and support network we are used to. We face explaining our journey to everyone we meet, and we frankly face others trying to explain our adventure in a way that makes it familiar and understandable for them. In Tucson, that means that people would say “oh you are snowbirds.” Well not really but that is what folks around here are used to, so I guess it is easiest to put us in the same box.
So that is what I face in the next couple of days. Ciao.
I thought I had captured most of the bridge art but here are a few more nuggets from my long bike ride on Saturday.
From the Rillito Park portion of the Loop
Bisbee – We visited Bisbee, an old mining town, about an hour and a half from Tucson. It seems like an old hippie town now, filled with restaurants, bars, art galleries, and mining history. The town is nestled into the mountains where you would think it should not fit. The streets are connected by hundreds of stairs, and of course, we did the walking tour. For my running/triathlete friends, there is a running event every year called the Bisbee 1000 (The Great Stair Climb). By wandering up and down these stairs (and mostly we went up), you get to see this eccentric, decorated town. We also had some good food and great drinks. We did not get tickets for the copper mine tour soon enough and it was sold out, so clearly another visit is necessary!
A view of one of the main streets in Bisbee with the mountains in view. Below you will see some of house and public art we saw as we marched up and down the city stairs.
Bisbee is a place where old items are reused.
Annette and I enjoying a tequila flight, and Chris cheering us on!We saw these bedazzled cars on our walk, and did see this one driving around later in the day!
Tohuno Chul – This is a garden, galleries and bistro. Kind of an enchanted place with a non-profit mission to connect people with the magic of nature and art in the Sonoran Desert region, as well as inspire them to care for the world. It is pretty unique. The gardens are stunning when you hike through them, the exhibitions were brilliant, and they have a wonderful gift shop with local art.
Art in the garden
Hiking – We have hiked many trails and mountain ranges but the newest standout for fun and challenge is Picacha Peak. Although the first 2 miles of trail were normal desert trail, the last mile is full of sections where it is necessary to use cables inserted in rock either to haul yourself up or to hold onto to ensure you do not fall sideways down the cliff wall. We love this kind of “almost rock climbing” and really enjoyed scrambing to the top of this peak where there is a 360 degree view of the desert around you! And the saguaros, pencil cholla and prickly pear cacti were blooming in Picacha State Park. This past weekend, we hiked the very challenging Finger Rock Trail for 8 miles and 2000 plus feet of elevation gain on the way to Mount Kimball. It was a challenging hike where at about 4000 feet, the saguaro desert gave way to a totally different landscape where there were still some cacti and agave, but also oaks, pines and manzanitas.
Flowering prickly pearChuckwalla lizard – This one was less than a foot away from us, sunning on a rock, could care less that we were there. There was a larger one, 20 feet away on a rock, that had a different color tail. This meant it had lost its original tail, and grew a new one.Climbing!View of Picacha Peak.View from Picacha Peak.Lunch at the top of Picacha Peak.
View of Finger Rock (rocks in the middle) from the Finger Rock Trail
In a silly moment I called this “Cactus Skeleton with Live Cactus and Live Person”. This is what a saguaro looks like when it dies.A view going back down.A rare species on this blog.Some of the other beautiful items and views on our Finger Rock Trail hike.
Downtown – We haven’t spent much time here but visited on a Saturday night to see some local music at an outdoor venue within the Hotel Congress. The area was jam-packed and there seemed to be many events; huge lines at the Rialto Theater and at the Fox Theater; local vendors selling handcrafted items; a street blocked off with food trucks; a group protesting the U.S. attack on Syria. People walking everywhere! People watching everywhere! We watched a couple of local bands in the coolness of the dusk and neon signs at Hotel Congress, while Chris had coffee and a huge slice of chocolate mousse cake, and I had a cocktail. Everyone’s needs got met!!
A downtown sculpture with a view of a nice building.
Some great neon
at Hotel Congress.
Kartchner Caverns – About 30 minutes from Tucson, there is a state park that contains a cave system discovered in the early 70’s. We have been awed visiting caves before, but this place is different. Two local cavers found a narrow crack in the bottom of a sinkhole, and followed the source of warm, moist air toward what ended up being more than 2.5 miles of pristine cave passages. With the help of a local state biologist, they kept the location a secret for fourteen years, deciding that the best way to preserve the cavern — which was near a freeway — was to develop it as a tour cave through the Arizona State Park system. So this cave is “living” and continues to develop and change. You are able to take two different tours, and for this visit, we chose the Rotunda tour which has types of formations that I have never heard of before and is an active bat maternity ward. This part of the cave is actually closed to visitors from April 15 – October 15th while the bats mate and have babies. Arizonans value bats for their insect eating abilities! The original discoverers found a sloth skeleton from 80,000 years ago in the cave. The care taken to keep this cave “living” is extraordinary! Tour guides give you instructions at the beginning of the tour that if you touch anything besides the built railings, that if you tell them, a flag is placed there so that evening, the cleaning crew can come in, and get the oils that are on your hands cleaned off so the cave continues living!
Tucson Art Museum – We visited on a Thursday night, when it was open ‘til 8 pm, with children’s activities. Although we did not love the special exhibits, they were interesting, and there is some wonderful sculpture and native American art. They also have an incredible café with great coffee, food and art.
Mexican food -There are so many options for authentic Mexican food, it makes your head spin. Standouts have been El Charro and Café Poca Cosa. For breakfast, the Little One Café, owned by sisters of the Poca Cosa chef, excelled for amazing food, great prices, and an even better vibe. And the tamales everywhere! I know I have mentioned how much I love tamales, and we are staying pretty close to the #1 place In Tucson called Tucson Tamales.
The Little One Cafe in downtown TucsonThe music is not that loud. And the hug is for real!Yes. Tamales for breakfast (sweet green corn tamale).
Tucson Food Bank – Since we were going to be here for 2 months, a great opportunity to learn more about the community was doing community service at the local food bank. The Tucson Food Bank is huge and has many programs; an organic garden, community kitchen, food drives, community garden plots, gardening lessons, weekend backpack programs for children, produce rescue, and senior meals, to name just a few. I volunteered at the food bank directly, taking jobs that required little or no training. Most of the people volunteering for these jobs were court ordered in some way (mostly for parking violations or DUIs), although there were a few others like me who did it because they wanted to give back. There were two high school students from Italy who were in Tucson living with families and doing an internship at the food bank. We packed boxed food that came to the food bank into smaller quantities for people who then picked up at the food bank or other locations. I have never seen so many tomatoes and spaghetti squashes in one day before! Tucson, Pima County and the surrounding area has a lot of hunger, so this resource is a gem in the desert!
The people – We are so fortunate to have my friend from college here. She and her husband have been so welcoming and include us on all kinds of events with their Tucson “family”. After being here for so long, with no actual family here, they have created a community of friends that are their family, and that we have greatly enjoyed! Their daughter visited for 2 weeks and we got the opportunity to get to know her as an adult (along with her lovely boyfriend.) In general, people here are pretty nice; not just exceedingly polite the way folks are in the south, but genuinely interested in talking and helping.
My dear friend Vikki who lives here in Tucson and I on a hike.
We have also had visitors. We welcome anyone who will be in the areas we are visiting, or near these areas to stop in for a visit. Chris’ sister, Annette, was here for a week, and 2 friends from college have visited as well! Quite frankly, there are times when I am a little desperate to have that social interaction that you have with someone that is not your spouse. This has happened less in Tucson than other places because we have a little built in social network.
One more week here and then on to Sedona/Cottonwood and Albuquerque!
The landscape in Tucson, although incredibly stunning, takes some getting used to if you recently lived in the Northeast. Even though it is spring and there are blooming cacti, flowers, trees and bushes, there is a lot of sand. In the Northeast, if there is dirt, most often, it is covered by grass, weeds, or other types of landscaping. Starting in April or May, the green is lush and cannot be missed. But in Tucson, there is a lot of sand and a lot of rock. Anything blooming stands out to you, and viewed from the perspective of the flats of the city, there are mountain ranges in every direction. The sunrises and sunsets decorate the sky on a regular basis like there is a party going on.
Maybe the starkness of the landscape is why there is so much public art and bridge decorations? In any case, we really enjoy the bridge decorations, and wanted to share some of them. These photos are from “the Loop”, 131 miles of bike/pedestrian path around the city. The highway bridges are often decorated as well, but much more difficult to stop and photograph.
There is a pedestrian/bike bridge downtown that is built like a rattlesnake. (Click here for a link to photos of this bridge.)
There is so much fun stuff to do in Tucson that we can’t get to much of it!
Arizona Sonora Desert Museum – Visiting is a “must-do” with anyone who wants to see the sights of Tucson. It is a large, mostly outdoors museum with 98 acres that include a zoo, botanical garden, art gallery, natural history museum and aquarium. Highlights were the raptor free flight show, cactus garden, walk in aviary, and the company!
Great Horned Owl during the Free Flight Raptor Show. These birds fly so close overhead that you could reach up and touch them (is possible but frowned upon because you can hurt them). Birds of a different feather below (the human kind!)
Some of the amazing flowering cacti and agave we saw at the museum.
March for our Lives – The walk and rally was an overwhelmingly moving event. I didn’t know about it until the morning it happened when I overheard some women talking while I was walking down Tumamoc Hill. Luckily they were very happy to have me ask them more about it! I got there late but was able to hear the speakers talking to the crowd on the University of Arizona green space. Since the event was organized by high school students, most speakers were students who spoke about how gun violence impacted them; daughters who lost their mothers; teenagers who worry each day about whether they will leave school on the bus, or in a body bag; adults shot at the same time as Gabby Gifford. The Gabby Gifford shooting occurred here at a Safeway grocery store in Tucson, and is an event that changed lives here forever. Most politicians in AZ still will not embrace any kind of change to gun laws, but there were a couple supporting this, and one of them was shot in the same event as Gabby Giffords. But the most moving for me was to have teenagers (still children!) be so articulate about the events. Their feelings shaped my views on this important issue forever.
“Dinner and a show” (and Shabbat) in the desert – I am visiting synagogues to find out more about them so we attended a hike, service and dinner in the National Saguaro Park East. We sat facing a sunset that was absolutely breathtaking and met some very wonderful welcoming people.
Museum of Contemporary Art – Located in a huge old fire station with garage doors and so much light, this small museum had really interesting exhibits and collections.
Cyclovia Tucson – A day where a 2.5 mile route on Tucson streets is closed for bikes and pedestrians, and there are events and activities along the way. It was really wonderful to ride with hundreds, as well as walk with my friend for part of the way. There were so many families on bikes, and even a couple of young toddlers riding their tricycles. I found an acai food truck and had a great smoothie. And also found a new neighborhood (Lost Barrio) where historic warehouses are being renovated to house businesses.
This is Dead Cow bike, a well known sight. I did not see the man who rides it, but the video online shows how the legs move when the bike is ridden.
Yoga – There are so many studios here in Tucson (and even more massage therapists.) I practice 5 days a week and spent 4 weeks at 4th Avenue Yoga, but am now trying out a variety of studios. The strength and calm that I get each day from this practice is inspiring. Last week, I visited studios called Yoga Oasis and Yoga is Therapy. This week, I plan to visit Sessions Yoga and Om Yoga (where they offer yoga using silks, a tool used in aerial circus work.)
“Are we really doing this?” has turned into “how do you do this?” How do you live in a place that is not your home, make it feel like you are at home, and learn enough about it to determine if you want it to be your home? This is different than being on vacation where we fill the days with interesting things to eat, to do and to see. We are living our lives but in different places, without a place to call home. As far I can tell, you do this with a really open mind and heart, a few important belongings, and constant research of the environment around you.
Here are some tips we have found helpful.
Bring along some pictures of family and friends to decorate wherever you stay.
A couple days before you arrive, or when you arrive someplace new, research at least one thing you want to do so you can start living your life immediately. For me, that is finding a yoga studio or gym, along with hiking spots. For Chris, it is finding bike routes and groups to bike with.
It is fun and helpful also to have a “project” or two to help explore the new place. In Tucson, project number 1 is an exploration of a bunch of different coffee roasters, and recently we have started to try as many breakfast restaurants as we can.
Pillows are important, as are comfortable beds. We decided to take our pillows along, and as a result, I actually sleep the first night in a new place.
If you intend to cook some of your meals versus having takeout or going out all the time, a few kitchen items are important; a couple of good knives, cutting board, French press pots and coffee grinder for us, commonly used spices, containers for leftovers, pot holders, garlic press, citrus squeezer, rubber gloves, and vegetable peeler. (Thanks to Susan S. for her thoughts on living away from home for several months at a time. I expanded what you told me a little and we are pretty happy that we did!)
You need way less clothes than you think especially if you are in the southwest. I did not want to feel like I was on vacation and living out of a suitcase, but have been putting away clothes for storage in Rochester since we got to Northern California.
Living and working remote can be a little isolating, so for us it is important to have a few activities outside of the house that we are passionate about (hiking and biking for us, museums and tourist attractions for others). Volunteer work can be a good way to get to know a community so if this was part of your old life, make it part of your new life.
We are mostly staying at houses and apartments found on Air B&B and VRBO. It is important to have a sense of humor about the places you stay. They are all different in some way from what you expect. Communicate positively about what you need to the hosts, and be realistic about what you can expect. We have learned that we may need to pay a little more to stay closer to the center of cities, but that this is worthwhile to us, because we want to be able to walk and bike short distances to where we want to go. If the place has been seriously oversold, consider moving to another place. Air B&B will work with you on getting refunds.
If you are used to purchasing some items online that you cannot easily find in stores, free Amazon delivery with Amazon Prime across the US may be something to invest in.
Talk to everyone you come into contact with. Find out what they like about their town, their life, and hit them up for tips on whatever you are interested in.
It is super helpful to have someone reliable as a forwarding address to get your mail (thank you, Annette). Pay all your bills online so you can get rid of as much mail as possible, but have someone who can forward your mail on a regular basis.
The Tucson landscape and architecture is so different from what we are used to that it takes some getting used to. The city is surrounded by four mountain ranges, the Tucsons, Rincons, Santa Catalinas and Santa Ritas. The city is relatively flat but wherever you look there are mountains. Many times, because of the intense light, they look 2 dimensional, as if someone has surrounded the city with very large beautifully painted poster boards.
Tucson Adventures
It’s been a good whirlwind since we hit Tucson. The first weekend, we spent time with my college friends (one who lives here and one in from Alaska), and explored a great restaurant called Café Poco Cosa and went to a fundraiser for a non-profit called ICS. The second weekend, another college friend, from Portland, was in town and we explored the Tucson Festival of Books, a large festival where there are tons of lectures and readings, book signings, food stands, activities for kids, publisher and author booths. We heard Jeffrey Kruger, Time Magazine writer and the author of multiple books including Apollo 13, who also happened to go the same Baltimore high school as my friend. We ate roasted corn, tamales, and Frost Gelato. We also attended Scott Simon, author and host of NPR’s Saturday morning weekend edition’s talk. Scott Simon was definitely the highlight as he spoke about my hometown, his book about my favorite ball club, the Chicago Cubs, politics, relationships, gun control and a number of other topics. The weekend ended on Sunday night at Sidecar, a fabulous craft cocktail bar with house made ingredients.
NPR’s Scott Simon
That same weekend, Chris and I took our first hike in Tucson at Sabino Canyon National Recreation Area, to Seven Falls. This is considered “touristy” to the folks who live here, and heading back to the car felt a little like being on the trail version of a super highway, but this eight mile round trip hike ended at seven falls and pools of water where you could swim (too cold for me), that are there in the desert most of the year. We started out early which was nice because it was pretty quiet on the way there, and there was lots of time to see the views. There are a ton of different cacti, including the many saguaros (the ones that look like they have arms.) Sometimes the way they were all lined up in a row, it looked like we were hiking past a saguaro cactus farm.
We both got big hats. The sun is so strong!Two mallards at the falls
On the way back, there were a lot of hikers. At times, Chris and I felt like we were an advertisement for others being able to make it to the end. (Imagining the other much younger hikers looking at us and saying to themselves “well if they can make it, no problem for us!) I saw my first roadrunner about a mile from the end of the trail, which was very exciting, and a tiny, tiny cactus covered with flowers.
Arizona Fishhook Cactus, about 4 inches highFlowering barrel cactus
Since we have been here, we have also seen a coyote on the bike path (which headed away from us as soon as it saw us), and several other roadrunners and birds. I have yet to see a javelina, a wild pig like creature that sometimes is even seen in neighborhoods near downtown Tucson.
Our hike last weekend was to Romero Pools in the Santa Catalina State Park. This area was home to Hohokam Indians from 500-1050 AD, and has a rich history of ranching after that time. On a Sunday afternoon, we did a self-guided biking tour of public art in and around downtown Tucson.
Blooms we saw on our way to Romero Pools (the largest one is called Fairy Duster and is very popular with hummingbirds)We saw this great house while on our art tour.Some of the amazing murals and one sculpture that can be found in and around downtown Tucson.
We have discovered such a great bakery that we keep going back. It is called Barrio Bread, and is a local bakery whose baker works with local farmers to grow ancient grains. Sidecar, a craft cocktail bar, is another place we have gone to multiple times. During our breakfast exploration project, we have visited Frank’s and Francisco’s (where we sat at the counter for “breakfast and a show” and where their motto is “elegant dining elsewhere”), the Bizbee Breakfast Club, where I had what seems to be a Tucson original, blueberry granola pancakes, 5 Points Market and Restaurant, and Eclectic Café. For coffee, we have purchased beans at Ombre, Raging Sage, Cartel Coffee, Exo, and Shot in the Dark. So far my favorite is Raging Sage, but I still miss my JamaicaMeCrazy decaf beans from Canaltown in Rochester!
We ordered way too much food!These guys were fun to watch!At Frank’s and Francisco’s
